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Category Archives: Love & Marriage

My Son, You Taught Me…

By Umm Ibrahim 

My Dear Son,

It has been a year since you entered into our world. When I saw you, I felt my heart would burst with love and happiness, although my body was broken and aching. What a roller coaster of a year it has been since then. It was tough but totally worth it.

Son, your Baba often reminds me that you are an amanah of Allah. Allah has placed the enormous responsibility of your upbringing on our shoulders. And what a momentous task it is! I often think of the long lists of things I have to teach you. I want to teach you to always love and obey Allah and His Messenger. I want to teach you the Quran and make you fall in love with the book and the pen. I want to teach you everything from Arabic to algebra. I want to teach you swimming, archery and shooting. I want to equip you to deal with the fitnahs of this day and age, and to revive the beautiful deen of our Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alaihi wasallam).

But today, my love, I actually want to talk to you about something else. I want to tell you about some of the amazing things that you have taught me. Yes, you heard it right!

I always wanted to be your mama. I always prayed for you. But you took your sweet little time coming. I remember I was almost losing hope at that time. When all of a sudden, I got the good news that a new life had already started to grow inside of me. I fell down in Sajdah and cried a lot that day. (Your mama does cry a lot. Most women cry it out when their heart is brimming with any emotion.  I hope you understand that well and lovingly support your wife through her tears, just like your Baba does.) Good news of you renewed my faith in my Duas. You taught me to believe whole-heartedly in Allah’s Loving Mercy.

During the pregnancy, you being inside me made me take care of myself. I felt weak at that time, but now that I think of it, you actually strengthened me physically, emotionally and spiritually. For your sake, I ate better and healthier. I tried to stay happier and think positive always because everything I thought and did was affecting you.  I recited more and got closer to the Quran. Son, you pushed my limits. You taught me that I was stronger than I thought. You taught me to love like I never knew even before you were born.

Your delivery was the toughest thing I have gone through. Before you, I would kick up a fuss even when swallowing a medicine.  You made me so much braver and confident in my own self. With Allah’s Help with me, I feel ready to face anything and everything now.

My son, you taught me the true meaning of the hadith which mentions that Allah is moreunnamed merciful to his slaves than a mother to her child. Now, I understand why Allah chose a mother’s love and mercy as an example. I can never quantify my love for you. The fact that He loves me way more than I love you just boggles my mind and makes me fall in love with Him. It gives me hope in His Mercy and Forgiveness. I feel relaxed leaving all my matters in His Hand.

My son, you taught me that love conquers all and makes all things easy. I could smile in the day despite being sleepless in the night. I could endure endless pain and fatigue for you. And one smile of yours would melt it all away.

You taught me to love my husband more. He is your Baba, and the way he takes care of you and me is amazing. Seeing him playing and goofing around with you is one of my favorite things to watch. Taking care of you has been stressful for both of us. We have fought and snapped at each other. But we have also taken care of each other through it all. All in all, you have strengthened our relationship and made it all the more beautiful.

My son, you have taught me to love and appreciate your grandmothers too.  Becoming your mama has put so many things in perspective. After becoming a mom myself, I have developed immense respect for your nani. I now realize fully how much she went through and sacrificed for me. She is an amazing super-mom. I can never ever repay her. I feel sorry for every time I disappointed her or was rude and disobedient. No mother’s heart should go through pain. I feel more love and respect towards your dadi, my mother-in-law too.  You are my first-born. Baba is her first-born. I can only imagine the way she loves him. She has raised him well. And for that I am really thankful to her. I feel more empathy towards her concerned behavior which might otherwise feel annoying or interfering. I know it is all coming from a place of selfless love. Baba owes a lot to her. And her prayers are his asset.

My dear son, I love your innocence and the way you giggle over small things. You have taught me that the small things are actually the big things. You have taught me to live in the moment, to be thankful for every small blessing.

8ce5c01a121ca4fea8780cec760e5f22--baby-hands-baby-feetYou love me so much too and those cute expressions of love make me so happy and proud. Everyday, you push me to be a better version of myself, to learn more, to grow more. Because I am your first school and your first teacher. You look up to me and I cannot let you down. I have to be a good role model for you. Before I can teach you good conduct, I must try and work on my own personality and guide you through example.

My son, you are sleeping peacefully at this moment and I must wrap up this letter before you wake up and demand all my attention. Being a mom is definitely the toughest yet most rewarding job ever. I will always make dua for you. I will always love you. I really have no words to express that love. I hope you grow up a fine young man, and are successful in the deen and dunya.

Your Mama.



Is it time to marry?

Is it time to marry?

By Zaki Imtiaz

Today at lunch time, I had a small discussion with two of my friends.  We were looking for an answer to the question, “What is the right age to get married?”

We concluded that it actually depends on some factors.  The right time is when a combination of some qualities and some resources are achieved in life.  Some people achieve them in their early 20’s and some don’t seem to achieve them even in their late 30’s.

For me, the most important factors are two: Maturity and livelihood.  Both of these terms are ambiguous and require some explanation.

(1) Maturity:

I personally think maturity is not just being physically mature, or being able to grow a beard, having all the necessary hormones to get things done.  Maturity is a state of mind- a state in which you know the realities and difficulties of life, a state when you are able to differentiate between right and wrong, when you can reason things according to the actual realities and not your self-created paradigms and myths.

(2) Livelihood:

The other matter is related to your and your family’s livelihood. One needs to have an appropriate amount of income to be able to provide the five basic necessities of one’s partner.  In Islam, it is the men who are solely responsible to provide for their families.  These necessities are:

(1) food

(2) clothes

(3) shelter

(4) medicine

(5) education

If you have a room in your house, you can feed yourself and your wife with a decent meal three times a day, you can provide her enough clothes to be able to cover herself decently and some special clothes for occasions (like Eid, Ramadan, Friday, Weddings), when you can take her to the doctor when she is ill, you have all the required resources.  You don’t need anything else, technically.

Isn’t it simple enough?  Why make it complex when it is not?  Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala has made the relationship of Nikah (marriage) a means to tranquility, mercy and affection.  Allah says in the Quran:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Surah Ar-Rum: ayah 21]

Allah also says:

اللَّهُ لَطِيفٌ بِعِبَادِهِ يَرْزُقُ مَن يَشَاءُ ۖ وَهُوَ الْقَوِيُّ الْعَزِيزُ

“Allah is very Gracious and Kind to His slaves. He gives provisions to whom He wills. And He is the All-Strong, the All-Mighty.” [Surah Ash-Shuraa: ayah 19]

Prophetic guidelines with respect to marriage

There are two narrations worth mentioning here.  They would suffice to explain a lot of matters. 🙂

1- What to do when you want to marry?

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَانُ، عَنْ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ، قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أَمْشِي، مَعَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ فَقَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏ “‏ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏”‏‏.‏

Narrated ‘Alqama:

While I was walking with `Abdullah he said, “We were in the company of the Prophet and he said, ‘He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

2- How will you know who is the right person for you?

حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، وَعُبَيْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، بْنُ سَعِيدٍ عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، أَخْبَرَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَلِجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ ‏”‏ ‏.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

“A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.” [Sahih Muslim]

May Allah make ease for all the unmarried brothers and sisters in their marriage.


The writer majors in Software Engineering and can be contacted at

Caught between the Mother and the Wife

Caught between the Mother and the Wife


By Zaki Imtiaz

 The best thing about getting married is partnership, isn’t it? Ask those who are happily married. A marriage may survive without money, but can’t survive without the mutual partnership. Newly married couples enjoy their lives in the most halal way. Allah has described them as Libas (garments) of each other, covering each others physically, covering each others faults and helping each other to cope up with the external damaging elements. SubhanAllah, what great wisdom there is in this analogy! [1]

 Whilst they enjoy themselves, they might not realize the change that this union has brought not just in their lives, but also in the lives of their parents and siblings. If we see it from the groom’s perspective, before marriage, he just had to take care of his family and be dutiful to his parents. After marriage, he has to take up the responsibility of his wife also, the woman who has left her comfortable home and loving parents far away, and has come to live with him, despite all of his negative and bad habits.

Every house has a pre-defined set of norms, and it takes time for a new person to settle in and get accustomed with everyone. In such situations, there may arise conflicts between the wife and the husband’s family over simple issues. They will obviously have a difference of opinion on how to handle everyday big and small affairs: be it cooking, handling the home chores, arranging and scheduling daily tasks, dealing with the the servants etc. The notoriously famous battles are the ones which take place between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. If timely firefighting is not carried out, minor tussles can erupt into major fights.


 Stuck between a rock and a hard place is the poor man, the son and the husband, trying to restore calm in the house, and keep the two most important women in his life happy. The role of this poor man is indeed very crucial. He has to balance the rights of his wife and his mother. He has to ensure that no injustice takes place. He has to walk the tightrope. He has to be the firefighter, the juggler and the peace maker. My whole-hearted sympathies are with this man! For the benefit of this man, here are some tips and tricks that I have learned through different experiences in my own life and in the lives of others:

  •  Never say no to your parents, especially if it doesn’t harm your personal life. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا ۖ

“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents”. [Surah al-‘Ankaboot: 8]

  •  In case of conflict between wife and parents, listen to both sides carefully and analyze the situation. Don’t jump to conclusions. Allah says:

إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ

“The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers” [Surah al-Hujurat:10]

  •  Talk to each party separately and try to clear the misunderstandings by explaining the matter, without making it seem that you are taking sides. Trust me, this works. They want someone to listen, sympathize and talk rationally.
  •  Love your wife much and unconditionally. Avoid scolding her and gently explain the importance of being good to the your family and its benefits. The Prophet (sallalahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said:

 “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” [Ibn Majah]

  •  Love you parents unconditionally and lower your wings of humility over them, no matter what. They are old now; bear with their quirks; their age may have left them with no other choice apart from behaving the way they want to behave. They still love and care for you. Allah says:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Surah al-Israa: 24]

  • Make everyone understand that things shouldn’t be based on the way they are carried out, rather they should be based on results. Make them sit together and decide the outputs of things which are causing friction. As long as everyone agrees upon the output, they do not have to fight on how things get done. Focus on the destination, rather than the route taken. [This principle taken from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey works wonders.]
  •  Be emotionally strong; be the man. Forgive them and hold no grudges.

وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

“But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Surah at-Taghabun :14]


May Allah make our homes among the gardens of Paradise.  May He make us the coolness of our parents’ eyes, and make our wives and children the coolness of our eyes.

[1] See Tafsir Ibn e Kathir 2:187 for details

So you think Islamic weddings are boring?!

So you think Islamic weddings are boring?!

Amazing ideas brought to you by the Youth Club Street Dawah Team

There is an outdated cliche with regards to practicing God fearing brothers and sisters that because they are so ‘boring’, then obviously their weddings will be drab too!


People would complain:

Where is the pumping loud Bhangra music?!

Bhangra and Dhol apparently being the ultimate expression of human bliss!

Where are the funky dance moves?!

Where is the intermingling?!

I mean, don’t we dress to impress?  Didn’t we buy the latest designer Versace suit or the latest Sobia Nazir lehanga to get noticed by the opposing gender?!

Marriage between two people is indeed an occasion of great celebration.  Islam, in its this beauty and perfection, guides us how to express this happiness within limits- like everything else in life!

If the feeling of joy and ecstasy is not checked, things can quickly get out of control.  It can manifest itself in outrageous parties where morality is thrown out of the window and extravagance is practiced on an unbelievingly extravagant scale!

To get things straight, there is no concept of dance and music (in the name of Mehndi, Mayun etc.) before the sacred rites of matrimony.  There’s no baraat in Islam, just an elegant Nikah (at the masjid, if you prefer) attended by both men and women in separate quarters.  The bride’s ‘rukhsati‘ can take place from there and there is no baraat reception afterwards.  Ah! The beautiful simplicity and refreshing convenience of Islam.  It is only the people who have shackled themselves to the yokes of tradition and culture who find this strange and awkward.

Then comes the Walima function on which everyone can enjoy the Halal fun.  Yes, Halal fun.  No sir, that is not an oxymoron.  These two go together quite well.  We need to provide halal alternatives to the usual haram stuff that goes on at weddings.


Here we’ve compiled some ideas that we’ve witnessed at different Walimas in Pakistan and UK, and being the innovative and creative souls that we are, we’ve added our own ideas too (Hopefully, this should help you to beat the Indian/Hindu influence on Muslim weddings):

1- You can invite  brothers to display their vocal skills by reciting the Quran; Have a ‘Quran recital night’ .

2- Somebody with an amazing voice can perform Islamic nasheeds.  You could even make the venue all colourful and comfortable, use big floor cushions, dim the lights, create an awesome ambience!

3-Instead of blaring out trashy music sung by idol-worshipping people with shallow lyrics, put on a beautiful soothing Arabic nasheed or even an English one.  Perhaps even have a designated DJ who could mix  and match!  There are actually a plethora of nasheeds available for us to choose from.  Or don’t play anything at all; just let the people actually talk to each other!

4- Have a cool dress code for the guests.

5- Share light hearted, interesting personal anecdotes of Dawah.  This creates a  jovial atmosphere.

6- And why does the food have to be almost the same at every Pakistani wedding?  Why not explore the vast Muslim world cuisine and what they have to offer?  Perhaps humous and falafel or a signature Malaysian dish!  The guests will surely remember your wedding by your bold attempt at trying something different.

7- A brother actually held a quiz at his walima. This created great laughter and was very pleasant altogether.

These are just a few ideas.  I’m sure if you think outside the box, then you can come up with your own brainwaves.

A wedding is not an occasion to show off and display your arrogance through your clothing or your vehicles.  It is not an occasion to gloat over your power or wealth.  Instead of trying our utmost to impress people or to live up to their expectations; we should be concerned about what our Lord is thinking about our conduct!

The style of weddings needs to change.  If you really want the marriage to be supremely successful, then keep it halal!  Why take away the blessings by indulging in doubtful or explicitly haram activities?   Would you expect smooth sailing on a journey that begins with displeasing the Lord?

There must be separate halls arranged for ladies and gentlemen; and female waitresses for the women.  Oh, and please keep the video people off the premises.  What kind of a Muslim bride sits on a pedestal only half dressed, decked up in all her finery with photographers falling over themselves to capture her from every angle?  And even telling her how to pose and behave like a shameless model?  And what kind of a wimpy Muslim groom is ready to tolerate this!?

This is a very small attempt at changing the traditional attitudes of how weddings should be conducted in the subcontinent. I hope other readers will pick up on this and expand on it.

I pray that the youth that are reading this show the mettle to go against the grain of traditions and be bold and trendy enough to try something unique, something approved by our Creator.

Do you accept the challenge of becoming pioneers of halal weddings?!

 Let us know your ideas in the Comments section below.

Of Big Weddings And Small People

Of Big Weddings And Small People

“There are two types of gatherings: one that is surrounded by angels and one that is not.”

– From Half:Past:Midnight- What I’ve learnt so far, Saadia Humayun


And that about sums it up when we come to weddings as we know them.  Ladies – near or far, close to you or not so much, related or a mere friend – all clamour to get you to shed that off, or put this on.  Then there are those poor, innocent, lost gents that keep sauntering between the tables, stopping here and there to chat with folks, making up for lost conversations, and instructing the waiter— wait a second, didn’t you say this was going to be a segregated wedding?

“Always the same,” said Mr. Weasley, smiling. “We can’t resist showing off when we get together…”

– From Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K.Rowling

 Showing off.  The phrase doesn’t see as much use today as when we were kids, but it hasn’t been more in evidence than today.  People always remark how it is no use for you to be donning jewellery or taking pains with a certain dress if, well, ‘it is not seen and appreciated’.  In fact, one person even forced their parents that there be no purdah or partition so to speak, at their wedding.  Who shall we dress up for then, Mom!

 And really, why the need for tonnes of make-up?  So far, experience dictates that even if you go to the best of salons, you still end up just fiercely hoping it turns out well, and that little children don’t scurry for cover upon sight.  But then, who possesses the strong faculties to endure all taunts thrown their way by eminent guests?

وَالَّذِيْنَ اِذَآ اَنْفَقُوْا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوْا وَلَمْ يَـقْتُرُوْا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذٰلِكَ قَوَامًا

And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate. (Surah Al-Furqan: 67)

It all comes down to people then, doesn’t it?  To us all.  To you and me.  To how small our goals and how shallow our thinking is, yet how big our weddings are!  Eating in moderation and strictly keeping oneself from waste- be it food or money, lowering the gaze and hiding the ornaments, and then saying only the good stuff, are all that lack from our ceremonies today.  I wonder if the angels surround such gatherings..

يٰبَنِيْٓ اٰدَمَ خُذُوْا زِيْنَتَكُمْ عِنْدَ كُلِّ مَسْجِدٍ وَّكُلُوْا وَاشْرَبُوْا وَلَا تُسْرِفُوْا  ۚ اِنَّهٗ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِيْنَ

O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess. (Surah Al-A’raaf: 31)

Looking for A Spouse: Great Expectations

Looking for A Spouse: Great Expectations


By Fareed Ahmed

Marriage-related statuses, comments and articles usually get the maximum number of likes on social networking sites.  It seems that everyone has something to say.  People often vent their frustrations and share their experience and observations about this universal topic.

Indeed, marriage is a very vast and crucial subject; books have been written on it yet some aspects generally remain untouched.  The topic of marriage can be seen from both an element of seriousness and an element of fun.  It totally depends on the individual’s maturity and attitude towards life.  Anyways, today the aspect that I want to touch upon is the “Utopia Syndrome” with regards to marrying.

“I want to marry a righteous spouse…”, this is an oft-repeated, even cliched phrase among the practicing Muslim youth.  We keep on saying and hearing this in our circle of religious friends, but then we have our “Great Expectations”.  Religiously inclined men looking to marry are well-aware of the famous Hadith :

“A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her nobility, her beauty and her piety.  Choose the pious one, and may you be successful.” (Bukhari)

However, no matter how long and bushy a brother’s beard is or how high he wears his pants, very few of them actually compromise on beauty and age of the girl, though they might eventually compromise on wealth and nobility, and even piety.  Everyone wants to marry a Cinderella or someone who looks like a beauty queen from Hollywood.  The Hadith is forgotten, and one after the other, rejections are made under the guise of Kufw (compatibility) or negative Istikhara, while the real reason for rejection remains hidden.

Know, my brothers, that beauty fades away with time; it is character that continues to shines through.

The mentality of the majority of the sisters is no different.  They might hold graduation in Fiqh, maintain proper hijab, and claim (along with their parents): “We are looking for a righteous man.”; yet when someone from a lower-class family approaches them, righteousness takes a backseat and many more things get added up in their list.  They too know, but choose to ignore the famous Hadith:

“If a man, whose character and Deen satisfies you, asks for your daughter in marriage, you should marry them; otherwise, there’ll be corruption in the land.” (Tirmidhi)

Know, my sisters, that your spouse can’t reach your father’s level, and provide you with all the luxuries of your father’s home, at this early stage in his career.  You will surely get whatever provision Allah has destined for you.

Prophet Musa (alaihis salam) would have never have gotten married to the daughter of the pious man (Prophet Shuaib, according to traditions) who sheltered him in Madyan, if his father in-law had based his decision on material possessions.  At that time, Musa had no money or luxuries, nor had he been given Prophethood.  He was merely a modest and righteous man.  That is all he had to his credit.

I do honour the concept of Kufw (compatibility) in Islamic Fiqh, but there has to be a touch of realism and prioritization in our standards.  When we complain of delayed marriages and marriage-related sufferings, we must understand that many times the fault lie within us; our obnoxious attitude and high standards are to blame.  The truth is that materialism is rooted deeply in our minds and hearts.  Despite knowing the ahadith, the stories of the companions and righteous people, we just can’t seem to fix our minds and hearts.

The author can be contacted at

Do you agree with the author’s point of view?  Have you ever noticed or experienced these Great Expectations? Let us know in the Comments below!


Thou Shalt Lower Thy Gaze!

Thou Shalt Lower Thy Gaze!


Lowering the gaze- yes, that is actually one of the forgotten commandments.

You mean blue eyes! Woww.” She stared dreamily into space.

I just can’t control myself when I look at him…” she swooned, gazing at the actor’s image on the novel’s cover page.

That brother and his beard was so awesome! Ah! He was… ” she giggled as she described a guy.

It’s common to hear such statements even amongst seemingly religious girls.

Humans are creatures of desire, and we must battle against these desires every single day to subdue and control them.  That’s where lies our struggle.  And that’s where lies our reward.

Take some real life situations:

Brothers, imagine yourself sitting in the midst of the busy street, waiting to complete some important tasks.  Suddenly, you see some beautiful young ladies.  You struggle to lower your gaze.  Their giggles and laughter tempt you but you try to control.  Now, you have two choices: to look around and feast your eyes, or to remain steadfast out of His fear and for the delights of Jannah.

Perhaps Allah will be pleased by your effort and will marry you to the Hoor al ‘Ayn (beautiful women in Jannah) right at that moment.  Perhaps Allah will reward you with a beautiful wife even in this world.  Perhaps Allah will make easy for you the very task you had been waiting for.  After all, He is always with you and is managing all your affairs.

Sisters, imagine lowering your gaze for this fleeting moment and then enjoying that pleasure of locking your eyes with your handsome husband.  Imagine this for both this beautiful world and the life to come in the Hereafter.  You will be his queen in Jannah if both of you enter the place together, Insha Allah.  Imagine being a queen amongst the Hoor al ‘Ayn!

You have a choice.  You always do.  And that’s what defines your present life and the life in the Hereafter.  How wisely will you choose?
Fighting against desires is tough, but not that tough when you do it, seeking the Face of Allah Subhanau wa Ta’ala alone.  Let’s consider the case of two sisters.

As she entered the building to complete some paperwork, her sight fell on a group of brothers who were there for some work too.  She had a choice: to continue to look at them intently or to lower her gaze.  And she chose to lower her gaze out of respect, modesty, fear and humbleness for her Creator.  She did it for her purity, and for seeking the pleasure of Allah.  She was covered and by doing so, she was not oppressed but in fact, she was liberated.  She lowered her gaze and perhaps they, theirs.  She felt light.  She felt satisfied.  She felt liberated and at peace.

And the other one:

She ogled at many and fell for some and failed to fight those temptations.  Temptations upon temptations.  Evil upon evil.  And then, she finally met her husband.  She never felt true to herself.  Most importantly, she never felt true to Allah but until she repented.

As a Muslim woman, I can’t imagine myself staring at random men with desire and then getting married to another man.  I can’t imagine myself chit-chatting with many men and then talking to my husband.  In fact, I would love to lower my gaze and protect myself against lustful eyes out of His fear and then to see the blessing in the relationship with my husband.  At the same time, I can’t imagine my husband doing the same to me.  How beautiful your husband or wife would be to you – unique in their own way, without any parameters to measure the beauty with, since they would be the only one for you!  How wonderful would be the bond and how beautifully the spouses would find repose in each other!

Some people might think that this is such a trivial issue whereas we have big things to deal with in the Ummah.  I say to them: for dealing with big things, you need to work on ‘small’ things first and specifically on your seat of Imaan – the heart.  Do you really think you would be able to deal with those big issues when your heart is stinking with sins and enveloped in darkness?  Do you think Allah’s help will come to you while you are habitually disobeying Him?  It’s not about how trivial something may seem to you; it’s about racing to reach the highest level in Jannah.  Who knows by giving up this sin of yours, Allah may envelop you with mercy and raise your station in Jannah, insha Allah!

So, let your beautiful eyes be saved from committing their adultery.  Let your soul repent for the past and turn back to Allah.  Let it look forward to an amazing journey ahead with a purified gaze, insha Allah.


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