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6 Tips For Practising Islam Better

By YC Street Dawah Team

Does Practicing Islam Mean Losing Friends? – 2

A question was posed, “Are there any tips for someone who wants to begin practising Islam?”

This is a big question and the answer probably deserves books upon books to answer. However, I will attempt to offer some ideas which could help in the ‘journey’ towards Islam as a way of life, Insha’Allah.

1- Righteous Company!

Probably the biggest barrier to fully immersing ourselves in the practice of Islam is the company we keep. You have to willingly change your company, and you can do that by the following:

By constantly sharing your thoughts on the purpose of life with the group of friends you hang around with. This might serve as inspiration to others and lead them to switch to a positive lifestyle too, so that you may not have to find new friends!

Alternatively, you can leave this group of friends and find new company. And since that is easier said than done, you can change your mindset, to start thinking along these lines:

“Do I really need friends that would only cause me harm? Can’t I survive and live a wholesome life without friends? When you begin thinking like this, you find all sorts of options.

We have this saying amongst those involved in dawah, “When you begin practising Islam, you may lose friends but you gain brothers/ sisters!”

There is an amazing Hadith on the matter:

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.”

[Muslim]

2. Invest in Alternative Hobbies or Interests

If you are someone who is addicted to drugs, smoking, clubbing, music, haram relationships, pornography or any other such activities and want to get away from them, don’t think that your life will become boring and dull without them. This is a huge misconception. In fact, having an Islamic lifestyle gives you all sorts of stimulation, which you won’t gain from haram activities. Islam brings peace to your heart, like nothing else. Not dance parties, nor flirting on Instagram.

Other than actively seeking knowledge by attending courses and meeting other enlightened souls, you can opt for hiking, sports, travelling, reading books and so many other activities that are perfectly allowed in Islam. With Islam embedded in your heart and mind, you begin to look at a universe of options, as opposed to the limited set available when away from an Islamic lifestyle.

3. Access to Knowledge

A few decades ago, or even 9, 10 years ago, you could argue that to gain access to Islamic knowledge, be it with scholars, short or long courses, halaqahs, one had to travel to the Middle East or to another locality. With that, came many other hardships & inconveniences.

However, now we have all sorts of mediums to begin our learning! There are thousands of hours of Islamic content available online. Be it YouTube or Facebook, essays, articles or audio recordings. We can access them all through our social media platforms.

So, start following beneficial & productive pages and scholars! You can also find and befriend a scholar or a specialist of their field and have Skype sessions with them!

Furthermore, you can also join numerous WhatsApp/ Telegram learning groups! There really isn’t any excuse to not learn. You can begin your journey of knowledge from the comfort of your own bed!

4. Unfollow/ Unfriend Boys/Girls

Yes, this may sound hard to do, but before actually unfriending those that share nonsense on your Instagram/twitter/ Facebook feeds, start by using the unfollow button. This will be a start to ‘cleansing’ your social media platforms and will directly impact your own thinking. You can filter out useless information and not be influenced by those that encourage non-Islamic content. Social media plays a huge part in forming our opinions in life, and you really do have to work on it!

5. Hang Around Du’aat

If and where you can, hang around those involved in Da’wah to those that are away from Islam. Even if you feel ‘hypocritical’ for still indulging in haram activities, hanging out with those who are practising and inviting towards Islam will be of great benefit to you. You will hear words like ‘destructive’ and ‘foolish’. You will listen to the anecdotal stories of how they changed and will gain great inspiration from their experiences!

6. Talk to Your Creator

If you truly are sincere about changing to begin practising Islam, then turn to Allah and ask him:

” Oh Allah, I want to change! I want to leave this lifestyle behind. I want to become close to you and follow your commands. But how? How do I do this? Where do I start? Can I change? Am I too deep into sin/kufr?! Please show me the way! Please guide me! Please fix my heart and remove these diseases.”

If you can ask this and have a deep conversation with the Turner of Hearts, then I am sure Insha’Allah, you will begin your journey of change.

 

A beautiful, encouraging hadith goes:

“Oh son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. Ask & I will not mind”

[Al-Tirmithi].

Have a strong intention, add will power and try your best to get on the path to Allah!

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Story of a Revert Muslimah

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YOUTH CLUB: Asalamualaikum, welcome to Islam, sister — may you introduce yourself?

REVERT SISTER: Walaikumasalam, thank you.  My name is Samiha. I was raised in Germany but I am originally from Hong Kong. I became Muslim in 2011 while I was a university student in the UK. I have, therefore, been Muslim for 6 years, Alhumdulilah. I became a Masters student for architecture in Australia but right now I am currently gaining work experience as an architectural assistant in Hong Kong before returning back to complete studies.

YOUTH CLUB: What was your life before Islam and what do you think was the turning point for considering to read about Islam?

REVERT SISTER: My life before Islam was nothing extraordinary and was rather very standard. I was a normal teenager who never really gave much thought about life. At the same time I was never into what my peers were doing. I abstained from dating, clubbing, drinking or other western lifestyle. I guess people would consider me as a studious teen that stayed away from trouble. The turning point for me considering Islam was when I started university in the UK. This was where I encountered Muslims for the first time. I was additionally going through personal issues and was thus in a very low period in my life. I hit rock bottom and was completely lost. I furthermore found my degrees in firstly chemistry and later mathematics totally unsuitable where that made me feel more lost. I was, therefore, really low and questioned a lot about my purpose and outlooks in life. This also led me to compare my Muslim friends’ lifestyle to my own where I surprisingly found many similarities. They were modest and disciplined and I really liked that so I started to dig deeper.

YOUTH CLUB: What caused you to embrace Islam?

REVERT SISTER: There were many factors that led me to embrace Islam. Firstly, reaching rock bottom certainly made it easier to accept the truth. I was in a state where I wanted to find meaning and make sense of the world. Islam, however, appealed me on a more rational level. I tend to observe things from a rational and calculated standpoint, especially with my background in chemistry, and mathematics. I, therefore, analyzed and compared Islam to other religions that I was exposed to — religions such as Christianity and Buddhism. I was previously an atheist, but the scientific accuracy within Islam was flawless, and undeniable. The scientific and logical approach in the Qur’an towards the meaning of life, therefore, struck me. I was even more awestruck over the cosmological explanations found within the Qur’an and it aligning with the opinions of modern day scientists. It was too undeniable to ignore and I also felt like Allah (swt) was protecting me in my teens in preparation for Islam. It was, therefore, easy to embrace Islam, Alhumdulilah.

YOUTH CLUB: How do you think Islam has transformed your life for the better?

REVERT SISTER: Islam has transformed my life for the better because it has given me a clear purpose in life and a sense of direction. The detailed teachings over how our intentions matter guides my actions and speech. Islam has, therefore, guided me into decisions fueled with purpose where I think that also led me to my current degree. I am passionate about architecture — more specifically sustainable architecture — because I hope to give back to humanity by building what is sustainable and good not only for mankind but Earth. Islam has thus made me conscious and has increased my accountability. The feeling of accountability has not only given me a clear sense of direction but pushed me to strive for excellence in whatever I do.

YOUTH CLUB: What in Islam helps you cope with life’s difficulties especially when facing non Muslim parents?

REVERT SISTER: Allah (swt) says in the Qu’ran that He will test every believer according to their sincerity and see if they are indeed true believers. This is a teaching that I cling to whenever going through difficulties. I know very well that my parents love me and that their opposition is due to this love. This is, however, a test for me and I know that Allah (swt) has promised not to give me tests beyond my capacity. The knowledge of how what we are going through is temporary helps me cope and the duty within Islam towards parents gives me direction on how to be towards them.

YOUTH CLUB: What message would you like to send Muslims that were born with Islam and that have Muslim families?

REVERT SISTER: Cherish and be grateful for your family whether they are religious or not. It is a tremendous blessing if your family is practicing, but if they are not, it often helps to think from the shoes of others because your family loves you at the end of the day. Allah (swt) will reward you for obeying His religion and being kind to your family — your family will see how Islam has transformed you for the better even if they do not fully understand why you are practicing Islam.

YOUTH CLUB: What further advice would you give born Muslims that start to become practicing but face opposition from cultural parents?

REVERT SISTER: My advice is to be patient. Be consistent when showering kindness and persevere for Allah (swt)’s sake. Allah (swt) will bless you and you will see the fruits. Your parents will ultimately appreciate how Islam has transformed you for the better.

YOUTH CLUB: How do you think born Muslims can be there for reverts and what can they learn from reverts?

REVERT SISTER: I think just being there makes a huge difference. There are many that are quick to judge when you are new Islam and also there are many that preach whatever they know about Islam without looking at your circumstance. There are few that are actually there especially when things get tough. Reverts tend to go through a huge change and face opposition from family. They sometimes do not feel safe at home that support from the Muslim community makes a huge difference. The simple act of reaching out to reverts to ask how they are or how to help makes a huge difference.

YOUTH CLUB: Jazaki Allah khair sister for your time and for sharing with us your experience — we are very pleased to have you as our sister and have lots of prayers for you.

Chapter 10: The Waning Dusk (series)

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I don’t know about you, but I want to go go back in time every time I read about the battles in seerah. Maybe it’s the companions’ undying support, martyrdom, glad-tidings or pretty much everything that gets me high reading about Badar, Uhud, Battle of the Trench…

I also wonder if I would’ve accepted Islam had I been born in that era or made sacrifices in the same magnitude the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) did. A few days ago in a session with a scholar, the scholar put forth a question: “Will you be willing to give 50% of what you own to an Islamic cause?” I couldn’t even pretend to say yes to that. Immediate response: I cringed. Responses that followed: “I’m saving for a Mac!” and “I’ll have to start from scratch… again.” The scenario wasn’t even real and yet, I had to entertain my own luxuries before the greater good. And even hypothetically, I wasn’t ready to give away half of my earnings.

It’s things like these that make you realize that it could not have been easy for the companions either. They had their own lives- which were at least as complicated as ours- and were predisposed to the same vices as we are. Just because Abu Bakr (ra) gave 100% of his wealth to prepare for the Battle of Tabuk doesn’t mean his life was any easier than yours or mine. He just had this level of unwavering faith that we can’t possibly comprehend. Umar (ra) wanted to out-do Abu Bakr (ra), so he came up with his 50% and realized there was no way he could win the race when he saw Abu Bakr’s contribution. And Umar (ra) did not offer the remaining half of his assets to call it a draw because he knew his limitations too.

Another companion toiled away in the garden of a Jew and gave away all of his wages for the night the very next morning– a kilo of dates (the only kilo he owned) for the expedition of Tabuk. He could have easily held back thinking it’s too little an offering and would amount to nothing… But the companions knew better. They always did.

March forth (in the way of Allah), no matter whether you are light or heavy, and carry out Jihad (struggle) in the way of Allah with your wealth and lives. That is good for you, if you were to realize. (09:41)

This verse- though revealed as a call for Tabuk- is universal. It exempts no one when it comes to contributing towards Islam. Whether you’re rich or poor, or if you think you have no talent or a lot of it, whether you consider yourself a worthy candidate or not– serving Islam is the best honor you could ever get and you’re expected to serve in your capacity.

And Ramadan is the best time to contribute financially and be rid of this hoarding disorder. #NoteToSelf

Chapter 9: The Waning Dusk (series)

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Myth: Atheism is scientific

A couple of months ago, I was  discussing the subconscious mind with a friend- more like arguing with her for argument’s sake.

You might have noticed that something holds you back whenever you decide to leave your comfort zone, or whenever you hesitate to try out something at which you have failed once or that tiny voice in your head that makes you feel guilty… it is the subconscious mind pulling the strings. Virtually capable of storing all that you have ever seen, felt and done before– it even shakes everything up into a kaleidoscope of scenarios you dream about. And much remains an enigma to the scientific world. Why do you have recurring dreams, what’s with the symbology in dreams, why is it that some people develop post traumatic stress disorder, and the questions go on…

What’s interesting here is that we all have our subconscious states hardwired the same way. We mess it up later which is another story altogether, but we are all predisposed to the same thing:

Allah (swt) says in the Quran,

(Recall) when your Lord brought forth their progeny from the loins of the children of ’Adam, and made them testify about themselves (by asking them,) “Am I not your Lord?” They said, “Of course, You are. We testify.” (We did so) lest you should say on the Day of Judgment, “We were unaware of this,” (07:172)

We have been created on Fitrah and our souls have already testified to monotheism long before our physical selves existed. It’s called the Covenant of Alast (or Ahd-e-Alast) that all the spirits have pledged to. Allah has given us a natural disposition to submit to Him and the only reason we don’t do it consciously is because we’re too far gone to tap into our inner selves. This is why you must have heard some people saying they feel depressed for no real reason. And a sick sadness engulfs us sometimes too when we sin too much. There’s always a price to pay when you go against the natural order of things.

This particular verse also rejects any notion that suggests Atheism is a rational course and negates the argument that religious beliefs are born from poor education and childhood indoctrination.

In fact, a study done at the University of Oxford’s Centre for Anthropology and Mind by Dr. Justin Barett suggests that people have a disposition to believe in a supreme being, and that if a handful of children were thrown on an island and they raise themselves, they would still believe in God.

A study on the development of children’s brains by Professor Bruce Hood of Bristol University concludes that we are hardwired to believe in the supernatural and are programmed to feel spirituality by electrical activity in certain areas of the brain.

And this folks, I hope wasn’t too hard to grapple.

Hence, we have Ramadan for spring-cleaning, when we refrain from the bad and the mundane and do not indulge in our general uselessness, so we have more time to reflect on our dormant inner state. Peel away the layers of unrest and set your affairs straight. You will notice a spike in your worship and your imaan heightened. Feeling is similar to formatting your laptop. The hard-drive quietens and you get a performance boost!

Five practical steps to be a steadfast Muslim!

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Not a single person can deny the fact that human nature is notorious and censurable;  history is one unfortunate witness to this very fact!

But human beings are bound to err. They were never designed to be perfect, nor  do they run on pre-defined algorithms for pre-designed results. They are not machines- rather they are driven by their own feelings, challenges, successes and failures.

In this fast-paced  technological era, man needs constant guidance through sincere friends and families to help him weave a path of steadfastness. But most of all, man needs his own self. A living conscience that constantly awakens him to the realities of life. An untainted sound heart.

Islam came to protect individuals, and to give people a chance at a better future, and a better life in the Hereafter. But to actually benefit from this, one needs to learn how to ‘live the life’ of a Muslim.

As  Br. Mohammad Ali [1] says:

“No system of life can give you a better purpose than Islam. So follow Islam. Read about it. Understand it. And you have a great life in both worlds”

Our halls are filled with awe as different religious scholars and ‘daees’ glitter and glamour the world- when one feels his faith climb even the highest and most impossible of  mountain peaks. But in everyday life the situation of the Muslim community leaves much to be desired. There is a massive gap in our hearts, that yearns for Allah.  The match between Iblis and man still goes on, and Iblis is winning. He is not even letting us come close to the ball. The essence and the spirit of repentance, of keeping our duty to Allah 24/7 is like a black hole today in some distant corner of the universe. No one really knows what is inside; what to do, where to walk and what to say. We’re confused, and lost.

In all of this, the way forward is difficult to see. It is only through developing a number of good habits can we try to stay steadfast on the path of Allah- especially when it is so extremely easy to sin and comparatively difficult to do good.

Allah mentions the attitude of the believers in the Qura’n as follows

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا رَبُّنَا اللَّهُ ثُمَّ اسْتَقَامُوا تَتَنَزَّلُ عَلَيْهِمُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ أَلَّا تَخَافُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَبْشِرُوا بِالْجَنَّةِ الَّتِي كُنتُمْ تُوعَدُونَ
Verily, those who say: “Our Lord is Allah (Alone)” and then they Istaqamu (stay steadfast), on them the angels will descend (at the time of their death) (saying): “Fear not, nor grieve! But receive the glad tidings of Paradise which you have been promised!” (S.Fussilat: 30)

With this, we begin going through an exclusive five item list to help us all develop beneficial habits (inshaAllah). You can copy the following points into your smart phone as a checklist and keep reviewing yourself every now and then to really benefit, insha’Allah.

Item 1: Al-Islah (Personal Reform)

A steadfast believer should always keep personal reform in focus. Instead of pointing out other people’s mistakes and blaming them for your situation, one should start from an inside-out perspective. If a believer is watchful over his own actions and remembers that every little action will be questioned about and every little good deed will be rewarded, he will remain steadfast upon the path of Allah.

ImageThe Prophet (pbuh) said:

“Unquestionably, in the body there is a lump of flesh; if it is sound, the whole body is sound, and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt, and behold, it is the heart.” [Bukhāri and Muslim]

So, number 1- make sure you have sound, open heart.

Item 2: The path of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and His Companions

Remember the story of  the brothers who tried to break a bunch of sticks given to them by their father? Well, they were unable to break the bundle while the sticks were tied together. That is what the Quran says about our Muslim brethren:

وَاعْتَصِمُوا بِحَبْلِ اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَلَا تَفَرَّقُوا
And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided.

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Anyone with basic Arabic skills will notice Allah has placed 3 words in the text in their plural forms in this verse- to stress upon the fact that we must stay together. OK. We’ve learned the lesson to stay together, but where to go, what to follow? Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) tackled this subject in a very famous saying:

“My ummah will split into seventy-three sects, all of whom will be in Hell except one group.” They said: Who are they, O Messenger of Allaah? He said: “(Those who follow) that which I and my companions follow.” Al-Tirmidhi (2641)

If we want the Muslim ummah to be successful in this world and in religion today, we need to work on our centre. The  path that we must follow should not be that of society, nor of our fathers and mothers, but of our Prophet and his Companions, may Allah be pleased with them all.

Item 3: The Intermediate path

People often say that we should strike a ‘balance’ between religion and life. That we should take a little bit of both- something from here, another thing from there. What they want to say is that one shouldn’t be so religious. One should pray , definitely- but there’s nothing wrong with an interest based banking system, eh?Fast in Ramadan- yes of course- but also dance at weddings with non-mehram cousins. Good treatment of your neighbors and elders is cultural only.A beard or a scarf- definite fashion no! Talking against the sins most prevalent in society is plain old negative thinking.

In short, completely following Islam is to lose yourself and your identity and to become an ‘extremist’.   We ask those peoplewere Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his Companions terrorists? Were they extremists? Do their lives bear witness to the terror they struck in other people’s lives- or to something else entirely?

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Remember the Prophet’s path is the real  middle path. Learn Islam and its true teachings. You’ll truly get to see how Islam encourages us to be  productive, healthier and God-fearing believers.

Item 4: Pious company

A man is known by the company he keeps

How true it is. If you constantly find yourself in the company of a group of unproductive, lazy, good-for-nothing chain smokers, the first thing that you can start with is to find yourself better company. Friends who are God-fearing. Friends that you can trust- who you can expect to protect your honor  behind your back Just an idea: look for local Islamic communities in your area.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ
O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds). (Quran 9:119)

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For those people in Lahore who are looking for new friends, come hang out with the YC brothers (and sisters) at our YC Community Center. For more details visit our Facebook page.

Item 5: Be a student of knowledge

Big seminars are held all over the world to help students plan their future careers. Where do we go to plan our Hereafters?

We’ve managed to produce such a lot of educated people within our society, but where is their education when it comes to matters of  the social life, morals, religious obligations and general ethics? Like a sea shell, beautifully adorned from the outside but empty from the inside- all of us except those who hold within the pearls of wisdom.

‘Uthman bin ‘Affan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “The best amongst you is the one who learns the Qur’an and teaches it.”
[Al-Bukhari].

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Be a teacher or a student of Quran, constantly, all your life, regardless of what your age or your culture is. Brings to mind another saying of the Prophet (pbuh):

 “This world is cursed, and all that is in it, except for the zikr (remembrance) of Allah and all that is related to it, a scholar and a student of knowledge.” [at-Tirmidhi, 2322]

Again, for those people who live in Lahore and Islamabad- contact your nearest YC members for details of our  Qura’n study circles and our weekly class schedules (this is for both sisters and brothers)!

If one truly  incorporates these  five habits into his/her daily life and asks Allah for help in remaining steadfast, inshaAllah Allah’s help will come. May Allah help us in that.

______________________________________________________________________

The writer is a software engineer and can be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com

[1] Br. Mohammad Ali is a Mechnical Engnfrom GIKI, Pakistan and is currently presiding Youth Club Lahore chapter.
[2] The list is compiled based on a lecture given by Sheikh Abu Tayyab on the topic “Istaqamah” at Al-Wabil Center of Islamic Knowledge, DHA, Lahore.

Peace!

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Peace! The whole world’s hankering after it. Today we have peace conventions, peace rallies, peace slogans, and yet, there is no peace. We are insecure in our own minds, in our own homes, in our own homeland.

Amazing though it may sound but we don’t really need to go into that much hullabaloo to get peace in our lives. That is because its perfect recipe was given by a great leader years ago. A new state had just been formed, he entered it and said,

Spread Salaam...” *1

Just like that! So simple.

Yes, you guessed it. The great leader was none other than our beloved Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alaihi wassalam.

Salaam is the salutation that Muslims greet each other with, when they meet. In effect, they say: Assalam u ‘alaykum, which means ‘peace be upon you’.

This great leader didn’t just state, ‘say’ salaam, rather he said, ‘spread’ salaam. Do you see the depth in his choice of words? Spread means to disseminate widely. Imagine that! Imagine us wishing peace to any and everyone we met. Would there be any discord or bad feelings left, let alone insecurities? Because if you just had to wish peace to everyone, you couldn’t hate them at the same time. That would be a contradiction in and of itself. Today we’re scared of our own neighbors. We don’t even know them. Why? We never talked to them. If we followed the rule of saying salaam to everyone, we’d come to know them, right? Communities would come together and unite peacefully. But alas! Where does salaam stand today?

According to scholars, it is obligatory to reply to the greeting of salaam. If you don’t reply, it’s a sin. Because we have been ordered in the Quran,

And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it
[in a like manner]. Indeed, Allah is ever, over all things, an Accountant
.”  (An-Nisa 86)

Etiquette of Salaam

> When you meet someone, it is the right of the other person that you initiate it.

> Pronounce it properly. Do not mumble.

> Say it loudly. It should be loud enough to wake a sleeping person.

> Don’t say it as if to show arrogance in front of the other person. Mean it.

Benefits of Salaam

> One of the best things is that you get reward just by saying such a simple thing as Salaam. Isn’t that cool? You get 10 or 20 or 30 rewards depending on how you say it. *2

> You can enter Paradise! Isn’t Paradise our ultimate goal? Imagine getting the thing you strove for and wanted all your life through Salaam, forever and ever. *3

> Through Salaam, you come to love one other. Lovely, yeah? ❤ *4

Know that Salaam is one of the Names of Allah. You’re taking His Name! It should connect with your heart. Say it beautifully. 🙂

Salaam

*1 “O people! spread Salaam, feed the hungry, be in touch with your kin, and pray while people are asleep (at night), you shall enter paradise peacefully.” [Tirmidhi]

*2 Imran bin Husain (radi Allahu anhu) reported: “A man came to the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and said, ‘As-Salamu Alaikum’ (peace be upon you). The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) responded to his greeting and the man sat down. The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam said, ‘Ten’ (meaning the man had earned the merit of ten good acts). Another one came and said, ‘As-Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah’ (peace and the mercy of Allah be upon you). The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) responded to his greeting and the man sat down. The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, ‘Twenty.’ A third one came and said, ‘As-Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu’ (peace and the mercy of Allah and His blessings be upon you). The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) responded to his greeting and the man sat down. The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, ‘Thirty.’” [Tirmidhi]

*3,4 Abu Huraira RA narrated: Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alaihi wassalam said, “You will not enter Paradise until you believe; and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to a thing which if you do, you will love one another? Spread (the greeting of peace) Salaam amongst yourselves.” [Muslim]

19 Lessons Fatherhood Taught Me

19 Lessons Fatherhood Taught Me

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By Zaki Imtiaz

 As Muslims, we often hear the virtues of motherhood and the benefits that kids bring to their mothers. However, it seems that fatherhood and its joy and importance often get ignored in the process. So, I decided to compile a list of some things that I’ve learnt and experienced from being a father. All the fathers-to-be and new fathers will find it beneficial inshaAllah.

 So once you’re a father, you’ll find that the following things have happened:

  1. Your love for your spouse deepens.
  2. You have to take responsibility not only of your own actions but also of your family’s.
  3. You have to try and adapt yourself to you baby’s sleep time to get some rest. He is too small to follow your routine.
  4. Even if you start following your infant’s sleep cycle, you still have to strive hard to get a good, refreshing sleep. 😛
  5. All of a sudden, you start feeling much older.
  6. You have multiple jobs now. One that is outside your house, earning money for the family, and the other with your cute little angel at home.
  7. The unique feeling you get when your baby looks at you and smiles is priceless.
  8. You start to acutely realize the hardships that your parents have gone through: skipped sleep, suffered cramps in their biceps rocking you at night, declining all the fun with friends because they were busy with you.
  9. Time passes too quickly. You angel’s birth feels moments ago, as new milestones are achieved one after the other.
  10. Technically, you have lesser time to spend with you spouse, but your bond and the quality of that time improves.
  11. Most of the time you’re busy in nurturing your kid, either physically or spiritually, or discussing with your wife about his upbringing, values and character.
  12. You become more future oriented. You start to think proactively.
  13. Your mind works on over-drive as you plan your child’s schooling according to Islamic values and plan for him to become a Hafiz and Qari.
  14. You start seeing life as a grand opportunity to shape up a human being, to inspire a complete nation (through his progeny) to become Allah’s slaves, and for you and your wife to becoming the leaders of Muttaqoon (pious people) yourself.
  15. You sometimes find it difficult to manage your relationship with your wife, because now she has two babies to handle: you and your baby! She’s fragile, so handle with care 😉
  16. Your wife loves you even more, for helping her out in the baby chores, makes du’aa for you, and prays for you to stay with your family till the end.
  17. All your childish, immature and irresponsible behavior is gone. You have to be a DAD now and you need to be responsible. Expect your kid to be exactly like you.
  18. You are more concerned about savings now, because living in an expensive era, it’s important when it comes to good education and Islamic nurturing of your kids.
  19. Now you’re remembering Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and his commandments more. You have a journey to walk together with you family. Your journey back to home, to Jannah!

Alhamdulillah I have found my experience to be life changing. Do you find yours? Please share more lessons with me so that I can learn even more 🙂

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The writer is a software engineer and can be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com

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