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Of Parents, Problems and Religion!

Of Parents, Problems and Religion!

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By Umm Ibrahim

So are you fighting a daily battle, where the two people (of all the people alive), whom you love the most and you’re supposed to honour the most, are actually stopping you from obeying Allah and His Prophet (sallalahu alaihi wasallam)?

Welcome to the band! You’re not alone. You’re in a situation faced by hundreds of thousands of practicing youth in this day and age. In fact, you will find numerous precedents from Prophet Ibrahim to the People of the cave to great Companions like Saad bin abi Waqas and Mus’ab bin Umair. Don’t you feel honoured to be mentioned among the likes of such?!

Anyways, I want to arm you with some no-nonsense practical tips to help you glide smoothly through each day with a clear vision and a strategy.

1- Make Dua:

Never under-estimate the power of Dua. I will not narrate the numerous Ayahs and Ahadith related to it, because we all know them. But, have we internalized and understood them? Look, Allah is the Turner of the Hearts. All matters go back to Him. All decisions, big and small, come from Him. If He forsakes you, who is there to help you? If He helps you, who on earth can defeat you? He can open your parents’ hearts, just as He opened yours. He is the Only One who can keep you steadfast in the face of all opposition. Turn to Him with all humility and certainty. Never quit making Dua!

2- Get your concepts straight:

Go to the scholars, and discuss your situation with them openly. Know the rulings for what you are doing or intend to do. Do your research properly. You should be in a position to refute all arguments. Make sure you are clear-headed and not confused. This will help Shaitan from planting doubts in your heart. You should know clearly that:

“There is no obedience to any creation in disobedience to Creator.” (Ahmad and Hakim)

You should also know that you, and you alone, are responsible for what you do. You will be questioned in your grave alone. On the Day of Judgment, if you will call out to your parents to lift your burden, they will blatantly refuse to do so. As Allah says:

“Nor can a bearer of burdens bear another’s burdens if one heavily laden should call another to (bear) his load. Not the least portion of it can be carried (by the other). Even though he be nearly related.” (Surah Fatir: ayah 18)

3- Be extra-nice to your parents:

This is the tough part; but Allah has obliged you to behave in the best manner with them, even if they try to compel you to do Shirk. Just don’t obey them in forbidden matters. In every other matter, go all-out in being the very best you can to them. Again, we all know the Ayahs and Ahadith regarding this. But how good are we to our parents?

Take your good behavior with them to the next level. Be the ideal kid that they would like to see.

Remember all the things they ask you to do and start doing them: Cleaning your room, Learning to cook, Helping your siblings, Waking up early.

Remember all the things they dislike and stay away from them all: Staying up late, Long phone calls.

Whatever it is, make these sacrifices for the sake of Allah. Be so good that they notice the change, and keep it consistent.

Give time to them, listen to them, laugh with them, hug them, thank them. Be so good that they actually admit it and point you out as the role model in front of your siblings.

Pre-empt their needs and fulfill them. Make them feel loved every single day.

Whatever you do for them, it will never ever equal what they did for you. You can never repay one breath of your mother. SubhanAllah! I have heard youth saying to their parents: “What have you done for me?” These ungrateful brats literally make my blood boil. Although I am a cool-headed person, but this is something that makes me extremely angry and extremely sad at the same time.

You being a better Muslim should reflect in your treatment of our parents. They should be able to see what they are gaining from it.

4- Pacify their fears:

Do you think you will become a rigid extremist by growing a beard? Prove otherwise through your actions. Do they think becoming practicing will make you anti-social and isolated. Bust the myths. Indulge in socializing and fun activities as long as it is permissible in Islam.

There was a sister whose parents were afraid that she wouldn’t get married if she wore a Niqab. She conducted an impartial survey of 200 Niqabi and non-Niqabi sisters, and the findings proved their fear wrong.

Try to understand if they have a specific rational or irrational problem and try to find a way to solve it and to pacify their fears.

5- Don’t Argue:

Once you have explained your viewpoint calmly and logically (you must select an appropriate time and manner to do this), just do what you have to do calmly. Resist the urge to keep throwing your daleel (proofs) at your parents. Having a debate every day will only worsen matters. Take their taunts with a smile. Don’t answer back. Don’t hold grudges. Smile, forgive, forget. Easier said than done. But this is the way of the Prophets and all righteous people who followed them.

Plus, there is no ego in front of your parents. To them, you’re the squirming baby whose smelly diapers they changed. How dare you behave all high and mighty in front of them? Just be patient, and trust me, they’ll get used to whatever you’re doing pretty soon. The day will come, when they will consciously or unconsciously, directly or indirectly, support you in what you’re doing.

It will be awesome in the end. But it might get horrible before that. So just hang in there. This is true for most things worth fighting for in this world.

6- Choose Your Battles Wisely:

So there are 101 un-Islamic things going on in your home and you want to rectify it all overnight? Maybe you should study the biography of the Prophet again? Take it slowly and gradually, one step at a time. Stay in contact with the scholars to know which things take precedence over others. Sometimes, you will have no choice but to choose the lesser evil. Don’t try to change things overnight. You will fall flat on your face. Slowly and gradually, start bringing your family to interesting Islamic events. Get practicing and inspiring friends to visit your home for lunch or dinner.

Keep rinsing and repeating steps 1-6, and your family will thank you one day for being the trailblazer and lighting the way for others to follow inshaAllah.

Do you have more tips or experiences to share? Let us know in the comments section below!

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My mate told me to go and get some fish & chips, and we ended up at a lecture about the purpose of life!

My mate told me to go and get some fish & chips, and we ended up at a lecture about the purpose of life!

By Nadeem Ashraf

dawahtip001

Disclaimer: The purpose of this article is to inspire other brothers and sisters that Dawah missions can be organised anywhere in the world. You just need the will to do it.

Yes, the above title was suggested by the CEO of Youth Club, after he heard about one of the many Dawah adventures that I had whilst on my short stay in the UK!

Youth Club has made some efforts in getting involved in the Dawah scene in UK. It is a sad reality that aside from iERA, Discover Islam, the Quran Project and the many small affiliates, not much is being done for the benefit of the numerous wayward Muslim youth in the UK.

So, we went about organising a few events for the brothers and sisters of Crawley.  Crawley is a town located in the county of Sussex, about 45 minutes south of London.

In all, we organised 5 events.  Brother Imran Ibn Mansur aka Dawah Man was the main character in our projects supported by his Dawah Man team, which includes Dawud Loka , Guled , Saad Ibn Mansur and Musa Adnan.

Before, I give a brief about the various events we organised, I also want to add that we also made several collaborative efforts with iERA, Hittin Institute and Exhibition Islam, Alhumdulillah. These organisations will support our Dawah efforts through various means including financial , material and general support inshaAllah.

So, back in April 2013, we organised an event to expose the beauty of Islam to those young Muslim brothers who had never attended an Islamic event in their lives, or even those who had doubts about their faith.  Non-Muslims were also invited to attend. We envisaged around 10-15 attendees.  This was an exclusive workshop/halaqah based on an invite-only system.  My brother Wasim was the main driving force in getting the crowd to the Masjid.  Through his crew, we had around 27 brothers who turned up MashaAllah!  Most of whom were of the ‘street gang’ background.  Imran gave a pitch-perfect discussion which lasted for about 5-6 hours.  It ended with pizzas and one-to-one counselling sessions at my place.  He spoke about the purpose of life, the rational foundations of Islam, the fallacy of the western culture dominated by the music culture etc.  A common theme woven through his lecture was his vivid portrayal of Paradise (especially talking about the hoor ul ayn!) The halaqah was very interactive, full of humour, Q&A and even role-plays to get the message through.

The next event was at my house; and we had a packed room again, around 25 guys.  This time Imran spoke about the concept of gratitude and our relationship with Allah SWT, as well as general points related to ‘Aqeedah.

In the third halaqah, held at my place, Imran discussed his post-Bayyinah course visit.  He discussed various points he had learnt related to tafseer.  He also connected the language of the Quran with that of the English-speaking youth, using all kinds of colourful slang.

Next up was the Dawah Training and Street Dawah missions that we organised with the help of the local Masjid and some enthusiastic brothers.  The training was conducted by Imran ibn Mansur and Br. Imran Hussain (who undertakes training sessions with iERA).  The training was held in the morning, and actual Dawah with the local non-Muslims of Crawley started in the afternoon.

The brothers who participated in the Street Dawah enjoyed the occasion immensely.  It was a first time for many of the brothers! A first for YC Street Dawah also!

Next up was the final double bill curtain drawer to the summer of Dawah ventures under taken with the Dawah Man!  At my house, Imran addressed around 15 sisters, some with the veil and a few without.  A powerful and moving discussion about the purpose of life and the role of the sisters took place.  The feedback from the sisters was excellent; the sisters resolved to try and organise more get-togethers etc.

After the sisters workshop, Imran addressed a packed crowd at a Community Hall.  There were many new faces mixed with the ‘regulars’.  Amongst the mix were about 3 non-Muslims.  One of these was a guy of Oriental origin who earlier had no idea that he would be attending a lecture about the purpose of life!  He thought he was just going out to chill with a few Asian mates and maybe get some chips!

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The lecture was powerful and precise.  The main theme was: Allah SWT is calling out to you..will you respond? And surely later in the night one brother took his shahadah! Over pizza at my house! A few days later there was news of another attendee who was a Hindu who took his shahadah! This particular ex-Hindu brother was actually shaken by the eye-opening presentation on Islam. Even when I had spoken to him after the talk, he was in genuine shock! SubhanAllah! On top of those amazing pieces of news, there is an unconfirmed rumour that another guy has taken his Shahadah after a few brothers who have been attending our projects/events invites him…Allah SWT knows best!

So, the bulk of the Youth Club summer adventure in UK was the super efforts of Imran ibn Mansur.

It was a busy summer, but I’m hoping that a few seeds have been sown. Youth Club is  unique and it’s message is universal, with an enthusiastic response to it even in a country such as UK which has hundreds of organisations.

This Is My Story

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The first verse was shared as a tweet by a sister, then I wrote a poem on it :p 

Comment what you think about it below and don’t forget to share. May Allah accept it. 

This is my side of the story, only my burden to bear

You don’t have to share my grief, you only have to hear

Once I was a brave man, a man having no fear

Or at least I thought I was, not having a care

I used to drink and party a lot

My friends were the most notorious lot

We went to clubs during the night

And danced till the sun was shining hot

On weekdays I used to go to work

And stare at girls along the way

I used to flirt with most of them

Said things I would not publicly say

I used to laugh at misfortunate people

There was nothing that they could really do

“They’re so pathetic,” I used to think

And help them? That I would never do!

I shouted at my mother till the end of her life

I threatened my caring wife day and night

To change me when they used to strive

We used to have a serious fight

Then one day I hit a car on the way

Didn’t feel much pain, but a bit I did sway

And Bam! My body fell on the ground

Alas! My soul had been taken away!

For the first time in my life I felt afraid

When I saw those angels with black faces

They wrapped me in a cloth so roughly made

And every group of angels, sent on me curses

I was sent from the heaven back down to earth

My soul till The Hour to rot in the grave

Now I wish I didn’t do what I did

For I see the hellfire night and day

So I warn all those souls still in their bodies

To pay attention to what I say

For now you might do what you want

But then you’ll be in my state, and it might be today…

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When The Earth Starts To Shake…

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In light of the frequently occurring earthquakes these days… Most of these signs can be found in various Ahadith of the Prophet (SallAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam). I tried to find the ones I could. See the links in sha Allah.

As we reach close to the end of times

The earth gets filled with sins and crimes

When Humans worse than animals behave

When a child treats his own mother as a slave (1)

When false prophets start to increase in number (2)

When you wake people up but they prefer to slumber

When the most loved person is a liar and deceiver

When the most hated person is a faithful believer

When even Muslims start believing in false prophecies

When no one is afraid of committing hypocrisy

When killing someone becomes a piece of cake

When while taking a life, a person’s hands don’t even shake (3)

When children of fornication are born everyday

When people stop caring if someone goes astray

When all of this gets too much to take

Then that is when the earth frequently starts to shake… (4)

Graph provided by DL Research - http://www.dlinquist.com

Graph provided by DL Research – http://www.dlindquist.com

The Missing Ingredient

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I was on a group yesterday and from there I went to a page through a link shared by someone. I just randomly started looking at the stuff and something really amazed me. The brother who was running the page was arguing with some guy and while explaining his point to him, he said something like “I’ve replied to you for this so many times but here you go I’ll do it one more time.” Then he pasted a link and said “read this completely and if you still don’t understand THEN only Allah can guide you.”

I stopped there for a while. It suddenly hit me! THIS is the reason we are not able to influence people! THIS is the reason we explain something so many times yet the person pays no heed. THIS is the reason that although we get “likes” on our posts yet our words have no effect on people; because we rely on OUR logic, OUR argumentation, OUR rhetoric, OUR background knowledge of the subject and even OUR attitudes and values.

We focus on learning all of these. But while doing so we forget the most basic and fundamental aspect of Da’wah:

missing-ingredient

“…and Allah sends astray whom He wills and guides whom He wills. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.” [14:4]

This is what’s lacking. It doesn’t matter how sincere we are, how well prepared we are, how good are our manners or how good we explain, if we’re relying on our own faculties (that have also been given by ALLAH by the way) instead of relying on HIM, we will never be able to convince anyone of the truth.

“…And upon Allah let the believers rely.” [14:11]

This is the belief we’re lacking. This is what makes all the difference. We all know that the Prophet Muhammad (SalAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam) was the best man to have walked this earth. He had the best of logic, the best of arguments, the best of rhetoric, the best of knowledge and the best of manners. Allah has given proof of it in the Quran.

“Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad SalAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam) you have a good example to follow…” [33:21]

Yet when it comes to guiding people, this is what Allah is saying to him:

“Indeed, [O Muhammad SalAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.” [28:56]

Only Allah can guide you NOW? Whom were you thinking could guide him before?! How can we even dare think that we would just talk to someone and would be able to convince him, without completely relying on Allah? But that’s the saddest part; we don’t know that we’re lacking THAT faith in Allah!

We get so indulged in Da’wah, even if it is with sincere intentions, that we probably never even make Du’a before talking to someone about Islam. We don’t ask Allah to guide him; we just go and try our luck. But if we’re going to do that then we can keep waiting for the day we get lucky – the day Allah decides to guide someone. Not because we talked to him, but because it was destined for him to be guided. We can do that, OR we can start relying COMPLETELY on Allah and know that we’re only doing this effort because the Prophets (Peace Be Upon Them All) did it, because the pious predecessors did it, because the scholars did it and are still doing it, and mostly importantly, because Allah has commanded it. Otherwise Allah could have guided the whole of humanity if He willed. But he made this life as a test for us and we have to accept that and be HIS humble slaves.

Once we have that belief engraved in our hearts, then see how our words start having effect by the Will of Allah.

May Allah grant us the Tawfeeq to rely on ONLY HIM and use the means only because He has ordered us to do so! May Allah bless the Messenger (SalAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam).

Heedless…

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There’s no such thing as a coincidence. Since 3-4 days I’ve been observing that at this hour (third part of the night) a bird, or a few of them, starts chirping. First it amazed me because you rarely hear a bird chirping so peacefully at this time. I couldn’t help but think that it’s praising Allah.

I get these strange feelings, feelings of happiness and sorrow at the same time. The sound just makes you realize the truth of Allah’s words:

“41. Do you not see that Allah is exalted by whoever is within the heavens and the earth and [by] the birds with wings spread [in flight]? Each [of them] has known his [means of] prayer and exalting [Him], and Allah is Knowing of what they do.”

[An-Noor (The Light), Chapter 24]

You realize this and you feel happy. But then a feeling of sadness overcomes you. A bird who does not have to worry about his end is praising Allah SWT. What about me: a human whom Allah gave a brain to think, a mind to ponder, an intellect to reflect over HIS signs and recognize HIM? Yet how heedless am I of my end! How unfortunate am I to waste my time, especially this time of the night, while doing everything else but worship, when a simple creature, without the superior faculties that Allah has blessed me with, is Praising HIM.

 

Allah constantly gives us the reminder…

“1. Draws near for mankind their reckoning, while they turn away in heedlessness.”

[Al-Anbiya (The Prophets), Chapter 21]

Allah sent down the Revelation for me!

“5. (This is) a Revelation sent down by the Almighty, the Most Merciful,

6. In order that you may warn a people whose forefathers were not warned, so they are heedless.”

[Ya Seen, Chapter 36]

But I’m heedless of it and I constantly sin!

“22. (It will be said to the sinners): “Indeed you were heedless of this, now We have removed your covering, and sharp is your sight this Day!””

[Qaf (The Letter Qaf), Chapter 50]

Lost in the worries of this world, heedless of the hereafter!

“7. They know only the outside appearance of the life of the world (i.e. the matters of their livelihood, like irrigating or sowing or reaping, etc.), and they are heedless of the Hereafter.”

[Ar-Room (The Romans, The Byzantines), Chapter 30]

I am even heedless of the greatest gift that Allah gave me: the Gift of Emaan!

“100. It is not for any person to believe, except by the Leave of Allâh, and He will put the wrath on those who are heedless.”

[Younus, Chapter 10]

So what am I waiting for? The time when Allah turns me away from Guidance because of my constant heedlessness of HIS signs?

“146. I shall turn away from My Ayât (verses of the Qur’ân) those who behave arrogantly on the earth, without a right, and (even) if they see all the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.), they will not believe in them. And if they see the way of righteousness (monotheism, piety, and good deeds), they will not adopt it as the Way, but if they see the way of error (polytheism, crimes and evil deeds), they will adopt that way, that is because they have rejected Our Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and were heedless (to learn a lesson) from them.”

[Al-Araf (The Heights), Chapter 7]

Then I must not forget..

“106. Whoever disbelieved in Allâh after his belief, except him who is forced thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith but such as open their breasts to disbelief, on them is wrath from Allâh, and theirs will be a great torment.

107. That is because they loved and preferred the life of this world over that of the Hereafter. And Allâh guides not the people who disbelieve.

108. They are those upon whose hearts, hearing (ears) and sight (eyes) Allâh has set a seal. And they are the heedless!

109. No doubt, in the Hereafter, they will be the losers.”

[An-Nahl (The Bee), Chapter 109]

How unfortunate is a person who does not take heed from the signs of Allah? Is he not worse than an animal?

“179. And surely, We have created many of the jinns and mankind for Hell. They have hearts wherewith they understand not, they have eyes wherewith they see not, and they have ears wherewith they hear not (the truth). They are like cattle, nay even more astray; those! They are the heedless ones.”

[Al-Araf (The Heights), Chapter 7]

Think over this verse for a while. How many times have you passed by the signs of Allah without pondering over them? How many times have you preferred this life over the Hereafter? How many times have you missed Salah for your class? How many times have you lied in order to get a worldly benefit? How many times have we been satisfied with all these little gains by sacrificing the time that we will never get back – the time which we could have used to make a wonderful Hereafter…

Then this is the end if we continue on this path….

“7. Verily, those who hope not for their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present world, and those who are heedless of Our Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.),

8. Those, their abode will be the Fire, because of what they used to earn.”

[Younus, Chapter 10]

May Allah not make us of those who are Heedless of HIM and may He guide us all to the straight path and keep us firm on it.

8. (They say): “Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate (from the truth) after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from You. Truly, You are the Bestower.”
[Aal-e-Imran (The Family of Imran, The House of Imran), Chapter 3]

All good is from Allah and only the mistakes are mine. May Allah bless the Prophet Muhammad (SalAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam) for spreading this beautiful religion among the humanity.

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